


Mother's Gifts - Day 7

by Glimare



Series: Twelve Days They Never Speak About Around the Old Ones, Except the Last Part [7]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: 12 Days of Christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:47:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28189461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glimare/pseuds/Glimare
Summary: Damian acts his age and tries to save 13 birds from becoming dinner. The other Robins though want dinner.
Relationships: Alfred Pennyworth & Everyone, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown/Tim Drake, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Series: Twelve Days They Never Speak About Around the Old Ones, Except the Last Part [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055210
Comments: 12
Kudos: 36





	Mother's Gifts - Day 7

"NO! You cannot kill them!" Damian stomped his feet as he argued his point to the others. Dick had hoped a walk with Titus would last longer than half an hour, not five minutes. It was hardly enough time to gathers all six geese and seven swans in the same room where it was acceptable to spill a little blood. Jason was getting a little antsy while the kid threw his hissy fit, thinking about aiming his gun at him, and his older brother could tell. "They are mine!"

"Please tell me he didn't name them," Tim groaned, looking over to Stephanie. She glared at him, still a bit peeved she was declared 'backup' the previous day. More like babysitter. At least she could laugh about how they had to live with all those birds. Dick promised her a golden ring or two if everything checked out after Christmas with them.

"Name them? He gave them pedigrees!" She took out a sharp batarang. "I tried to get him to call them something a bit more practical, like 'Lunch', 'Dinner', 'Flambé!' and all that, but did he listen? No! Now can we just kill these birds and get to cooking? I told my mom I'd get her a nice goose."

"Damian," Dick started, trying to reason with the kid, "we can't keep them."

"They're mine!" The boy repeated, insisting darkly. He almost looked like a normal kid during his tantrum.

"I thought your mom sent them to her 'true love'," Jason jibed. He wanted this over with, also promised a bird to eat on his own later.

"Father doesn't care about them! I do!" He turned his desperate gaze back to the oldest bird. "You said caring and compassion was important!"

Guilt ate away at Dick's insides. The kid just had to turn his own words against him. All the Robins between them looked at the ceiling, internally groaning at the concept while he whimpered. Alfred pinched his brow in the corner, already seeing the end game. "Dami..."

"We don't kill! That's what you've said from the beginning! You and father and Drake and Fatgirl!"

"HEY!"

"Were you lying to me?!"

"I wasn't lying." Dick tried to swing it his way while Tim kept his sorta-ex from pounding the little cretin. "I was talking about people."

"They're people too!" Damian waved over to the geese and swans, pleading for their lives.

His brother winced while the rest rolled their eyes once more. Just what they needed, an animal activist. As if Poison Ivy the environmentalist wasn't bad enough. "We're talking humans then. We don’t kill humans."

"Kent isn't human!"

"Humanoids then."

"Like we need the brat's permission to kill some quacks," Jason murmured, and for once everyone agreed with him. Couldn't they just shove him out the door and take care of the deed without him?

"What makes humanoids more important than anyone else?!" Damian's shouting almost won over the soft-hearted acrobat. Almost.

Sighing, Dick knelt before him and tried to reason with him another way. "Damian, the manor wasn’t meant to house large birds like these. We aren't equipped to handle them and we're not going to be. You've seen how Alfred can't take care of them all and you don't have the time to do it either. None of us do. Their wings are clipped so we can't set them free. This is the only thing we can do for them."

"Kill them?!" The lad really looked distressed by the idea. That time last year they wouldn't think he was capable of feeling like this and insisting something lived. They really had gotten through to him, at least for animals. "Is that all we can really do?! We're supposed to be heroes!"

"There is always the zoo," Alfred offered, trying to put an end to this. They all looked at him, some wondering why he hadn't said so earlier. Others were frustrated that their reason for being there was being neatly thwarted. They wanted goose and wanted to try swan. "They could use a charitable donation."

"We'll do that!" Damian perked up immediately, seemingly excited to get to work on saving the birds. "Don't you dare kill them off Grayson! I have work to do!"

Quickly the boy ran out of the room to start making arrangements. The rest turned on Alfred and Dick, glaring at them in frustration. Jason hefted his shotgun, not at all amused. "What's the flippin' deal Dickhead? I thought we were having goose and swan at the party."

"I... uhh..." For once he was speechless, no answer whatsoever. Alfred though saved him.

"We are. No zoo, petting or otherwise, is going to take these birds at this time of year. Master Bruce and I discussed this last night and devised a backup plan should Master Damian object so vehemently." A sly smile graced his face. "The only person he will be getting in contact with will work for Wayne Enterprises who's in on the scheme. They're only going to make it easier on everyone. Once dinner is gathered up and taken to another location, the four of you are still in charge of preparing them for cooking."

Impish grins grew on their faces. What Damian didn't know wouldn't hurt him. Only Dick was feeling upset about the plan. "I dunno if that's a good idea. I feel really bad tricking him like this."

"Do you remember that pig Mr. Kent gave us when you were nine?" Alfred pointed out randomly, confusing the conflicted man.

"Porky?"

A dark smirk appeared on his face. "You didn't take care of him properly and I told you he ran away. Truth be told..."

"We ATE HIM?!"

"You forgot about him." A matter of fact tone stayed within the butler's voice, making the other Robins grin. "What else was I supposed to do with a neglected pig?"

**Author's Note:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS!
> 
> Now gimme my goose dinner!


End file.
